The Missive #76
Faith, obsession, hobbies.
It’s January 26, and I’d like to pay my respects to the Awabakal and Worimi people of modern-day Newcastle, where I live and work. Sovereignty was never ceded.
Thinking
When I was 19, I had my first crisis of faith. I don’t mean it in a religious way, but more as a realisation that the things I thought were the right things to build my life around weren’t. These crises have returned every 3-5 years, and I’ve accepted them as part of my emotional experience of life.
Back then though, it felt like the world was ending. In the space of six months I’d had my first big relationship breakup (because I’d been a dickhead), my best friend had ended our friendship (because I’d been a dickhead), I’d realised that I didn’t have what it took to have a career as a musician and my family home was destroyed by a flood, displacing my parents and younger siblings. I was unbearable to be around.
I wasn’t raised as religious, but I have Buddhists, Jews and many flavours of Christianity in my family. They all took a great sense of comfort and purpose from their faith — both things I desperately wanted. I heard about St Mary’s in South Brisbane through my volunteer community radio newsreader job. The congregation was led by “rebel priest” Peter Kennedy, and at the time the Catholic church was trying to defrock him for his unorthodox approach to his job.
So one Sunday morning, my hangover and I crossed the bridge, hoping for absolution. The place was packed, and joyous. The vibe was nothing like the church services I attended with my elderly relatives as a child, or the pentecostal ones I’d been dragged to as a teen by my Christian friends. There were easily 400 people there, for starters. Rich older people from the new apartments nearby mixed with people from the homeless camps on the river. There were pride and Aboriginal flags. This was unthinkable for a Catholic Church in the 2000s, so no wonder they wanted to get rid of Father Peter. Seemingly random people from the pews read the liturgy, and Father Peter offered communion to everyone, whether they were baptized or not.
The Catholic Church was successful in kicking Father Peter out of his job, so his congregation formed “St Mary’s In Exile” and moved to a building down the road. Fifteen years later, the congregation is slowly dying out, and this interview with Father Peter and his successor Terry Fitzpatrick is a thoughtful examination of what it takes to build and sustain faith and community in the face of tradition and the passage of time.
I think it’s healthy to question the things that underpin your life, although probably not as frequently as I do. In his article “Psychodynamic nonsense”, psychologist Niklas Serning wrestles with the idea that he’s accidentally spent decades harming people with pseudoscience.
Isn’t it a bit arrogant that so many in the West assume that this new, unevidenced theory – that suffering stems from childhood – should be universally true, or even true for us? … How does the psychodynamic therapist, faced with their suffering client, feel resolute that they should dredge up the past, when philosophical traditions from across the world say the answer lies in the here and now? If we were all doing brilliantly now, and if all the therapies that we pay so much money for worked as well as they claim to, maybe we could feel more confident in dismissing all of that. But they’re not, and surveys of happiness indicate that many Western women – therapists’ main customer demographic – aren’t doing brilliantly either.”
Everyone I’ve sent itho who is a big believer in talk therapy or works in mental health has had a very strong reaction.
Reading
Fredrick Backman, “Anxious People”. A delightful novel set in Sweden, where a bunch of people at an open house get trapped in a bungled hostage situation. Funny, poignant and kept me guessing.
Ben Shewry, “Uses for Obsession”. A memoir (of sorts) by acclaimed chef and owner of world-famous Melbourne restaurant Attica. Shewry knows a thing or two about obsession — never did I think I’d read such a detailed account of lasagne. I really enjoyed his reflections on the misogynist and punishing culture of restaurant kitchens, his open regret at his mistakes, and his unorthodox take on nearly everything.
This lovely essay by a man who planned to hike the Appalachian Trail with his teenage son as a coming-of-age trip, and how it forced them both to let go with love.
Jenny Valentish on the war on drugs, the troubled teen industry and the long tail of damage on both.
“Writing is a very public quest for love. It’s embarrassing to ask for love out in the open. It’s embarrassing to believe that someone will understand you eventually. It’s embarrassing to know that you’ll keep working hard to be loved, to share yourself, to show yourself, whether anyone is paying attention or not.”
It was hard to pick just one quote to share from this Ask Polly letter. Thanks for the love!
Listening
This lovely episode of Conversations with Queensland Australian of the Year Claire Smith, a British lady who founded the first dedicated, volunteer-run, 24-hour wildlife rescue service in Queensland.
Arc De Soleil - Libertalia. I’d been smashing this EP for weeks before I found out it was actually stock music, but it’s so good! If you like Khurangbin, you’ll enjoy it.
Mallrat has a new album on the way, and I really love the bittersweet nostalgia
x Brisbane outer suburban gothic x magical realism vibes she’s conjuring with her visuals. Horses nearly made me cry, and Hocus Pocus is very catchy.
Doing/thinking
I’ve got back into playing pickleball after nearly a year off due to non-pickleball injuries and I’m now trying to influence everyone I know into playing it. It’s nice to have a hobby that is social, active and in no way monetisable.
I recently realised that every piece of good work I’ve ever done has been in a liminal space — a train carriage, a food court, an airport lounge, a kitchen table, a converted storage locker shared between 16 people, all of them pretending it is a music studio.
I’ve tried out nearly every streaming service and it turns out they all suck from an ethical or usability standpoint. I’ll probably never let go of Spotify completely, but I’m slowly exploring going back to a modded iPod and buying music that isn’t available on Bandcamp from Qobuz. It’s amazing how quickly we all traded sound quality and ownership of our media for convenience.